It's interesting to me how many facets a person has. There is the Work Me, Mommy Me, Wife Me, Daughter Me, Friend Me, Sales Rep Me, then there is the me that the world sees. The world who doesn't know me. That Me is a face in the crowd. The world's only opinion of that Me is squarely grounded on what kind of experience they have with me whether it be calling a customer service line to complain about my cell phone service (or lack there of) or responding back to the checkout girl at the grocery store with "I am good and how are you?".
I am always baffled when I startle a store clerk out of their customer greeting routine by not only answering their stale "how are you today?" with "good, how are you?" and actually look at the questioner and wait for a response. You'd be amazed at the smiles and levity in the conversation during my grocery bagging time between me and the checkout personnel. They even remember me when I come in. Why? Because that Me was a good experience and they are more or less expecting that Me to come back when they see my face in the store again. They wouldn't expect any less. To them I am a "nice lady".
Let's reverse it. What if they asked the time worn question again and I responded by raising my voice and complaining that the grocery carts were all wet from being left out in the rain, I couldn't find my favorite yogurt and that there were not enough lines open at checkout for the 100th time. They'd remember me alright and they'd be hoping I didn't come in when they were working! My face in their line would be met with distress and sighing. They would think I was a miserable person who was out to make everyone in my path join me in my bitterness. What a thought. Do you think those out there that complain and shout get up the morning and say, "Gees who can I make miserable today? Let's spin the Wheel of Misery and find out! OH! It's the grocery store clerk today." You would think so if they always came in with a sour lemon face and a porcupine personality.
It can be so easy to get messed up in problems of the day, week, life and find yourself in that little self-focused bubble that helps you forget everyone around you. It seems that the worst day of your life has an interesting way of being met with the newspaper sales person who has called you at dinner time for the umpteenth time this year. Wait...pause...breathe. Boy, it would be so easy to fire off and hang up. Who are you hanging up on? A single mom who hasn't seen her kids all day working a 3rd job to make ends meet? A kid who is trying to put himself through college? A person whos best friend died just days ago? We never think about these scenarios when faced with the anonymous person who interacts with us. To us, they are Anonymous Them and we have no idea who they are. To them we are Anonymous Us, the unfeeling, uncaring person who treats them like garbage for inconveniencing us.
Next time someone asks "how are you?" please recognize the person behind the question and the job and answer with a smile. There is a person behind that face. That life that has seen all kinds of things and you just will never know where they have been but trust me, they've been there. How do I know? Because I've "been there". Haven't we all? How about a smile and a "hello" for the office cleaning personnel whom you know doesn't speak english. It doesn't matter if they know what you said or how to respond. A smile is universal, everyone knows that language. There should be National Smile Day. I think we would all feel better.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Character: When No One Knows You
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
That is so true! Sometimes I miss living in midwestern hometown because everybody is so gosh-darn NICE! Living in the city is an adjustment, and it's such a relief when someone is simply kind and considerate. Sometimes I'll hang out with my friend, Melinda Jane, because she's from Alabama and she flat out refuses to be be rude to people.
Very nice. But, now my mind is circling back to the various people in my life who I wasn't kind to- like the worker at Kohl's the other day who told me I had to go to a different line to purchase an item and that this line is only for returns. It wasn't that I was un-kind to them but, I didn't leave the counter with a wish of love, tolerance and understanding of that person. It was more like "don't you know how important my conference call that I am going to be late for is? Don't you know my job is more important than yours?" Yes, sadly, this were my secret thoughts. I am glad that I didn't huff, puff or say anything mean. I just asked if I could leave the merchandize on the counter as I didn't have time to go in another line right now.
I'm in complete agreement. And, recalling something I once heard, if we give a smile/hello/how are you? to someone, there is a strong likelihood that they will pass along a kind thought/action to the next person. It has a domino effect. Sometimes I think that living in the hectic Northeast, people just forget about those niceties and that's just the way it is. But, if we are conscious of these actions, then I believe that it can make a difference. Thanks for the post! Cheers!
Post a Comment