Giving Back For Real

I am a big believer in Pay It Forward. The idea that I can pass on what I have so generously been given resonates with me in a way that only an underdog can appreciate. Being able to share experiences and inspire others to the greatness is divinely inspired.

There is a cry out there for help. Lots of non-profits out there are geared toward helping women from financially disadvantaged situations gain education and worthwhile employment. These women are largely single and have not had the privilege of secondary education, if they have even finished High School. Crittendon Women's Union in Boston, MA. is such an organization. Advocacy, education, family services and temporary housing are the mainstays that help disadvantage women regain financial independence.

What does an organization like this need? Perhaps you guessed, volunteers. Volunteers, ladies. I know how busy a working woman is these days. Believe me, I have to schedule a simple coffee with my cousin at least 6-weeks in advance. I could lay the ole' 'If it were you...' thing on you if it were that simple, but it isn't. What is behind volunteering to help a woman in these organizations is breaking the cycle for her children. You are helping a mom be able to be with her children, show kids that their mom can achieve despite the odds, prove the value of education and help a family flourish. The future of our country depends on as many children (especially in urban areas) see the value of education and nuclear family as we can. In a time of educational turmoil where extra-curricular activities and art-based programs are being cut from school budgets children need to see the benefits of sticking with their educational career. Nothing will help them see that than a mom who has worked hard and seen it pay off. These women are desperate for a successful woman to take an interest in them and show them that they too are worthwhile and can add value to society not matter what their past has looked like.

What can you do? Volunteering can be as simple as being available to help with resume writing, teaching computer skills or being a supportive ear. Programs for At Risk Families can be found by calling your state department or a simple web search. Some programs are only looking for 1-4 hours of your time a month. The rewards are so monumental. Giving back what you have been given, imparting wisdom, helping someone have a future, to me is worth more than any lost hour spent in front of the TV.

You can also give back and help out politically if mentoring and teaching is not your speed. The AFL-CIO has a wealth of information on how you can get involved politically to protect the rights of working families, particularly the working poor. If you'd also like to see how our presidential candidates stack up on these issues, I invite you to log on to the AFL-CIO website to find out more.

Ladies, we can't progress as a nation unless we are all progressing together. What we do today to inspire, esteem, educate will dictate the future of our nation. They are not someone else's family, the are 'We the People' of the United States of America.

I have recently signed on to be a mentor for the local Home for Little Wanderers. This organization houses, educates, counsels and finds foster and adoptive homes for in some cases, children who have been abandoned by their families. These young men and women are in great need of an adult who can show them they are worth the time, the energy and the love. An ounce of prevention in my opinion. The direction and love I show now may mean another young lady doesn't wind up on the streets or worse. If I can reach just one it will be worth it.

Please find it in your heart to give back? Haven't you been given so much?

A Closed Mouth Gathers No Foot

Anxiously awaiting the arrival of my new boss proved fruitless. The first day came and went with no new boss. I asked the General Manager what the hold up was. "You didn't get my email?" he chirped? She had rescinded her acceptance of the offer. The excuse? Her current employer countered with a $60,000 increase in her salary. I don't buy excuse for a second but I am a skeptic. If it's true, I would love to know what it would take to get a job there.

Since I was next in line for the throne, I awaited my next meeting with my supervisor on the subject at hand. That also came and went. I wondered of course, where did it go? I had to find out. I consulted one of my known offices sources for information. I asked my friend Donna who was helping with the interview process of new managers. She'd know. I usually saddle up to her cube in the morning for daily pleasantries over coffee so she'd suspect nothing of my inquiry. "So what happened to Kathryn?" I aske with raised eyebrows and an innocent twist to my face. "She changed her mind" she flatly replied, also adding "they gave an offer to the other guy." Other guy?! What other guy? The other guy is the gentleman that no one liked when they interviewed him. Why hadn't they gone back to me? That would be the natural question. Donna also helped the angst by asking me the very question, "Didn't they come back to you?" I hated to answer. I could hardly lift my eyes from the floor. Chewing my lip, I bid her 'good day' and went back to me desk dazed by the unanswered questions in my mind.

The phone rang about a week later. It was my friend Allison. I used to work with Allison. We were office mates. She was my mentor early on in my career. I prize my relationship with Allison, maybe even a little more than she does. We have been friends through job changes, moves, marriages, divorces, kids, you name it. I count on her counsel. While we are close, we haven't spoken much lately in the last year or so. It was good to hear from her until the end of our conversation. Just as we were winding down she asked me why I didn't tell her that I had applied for the Sales Manager position at my office. She previously held that position in another office so it would make sense to ask me how come I didn't tell her. I matter of factly replied that I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. The next few sentences leveled me. She said, "You don't want that job, in fact that is what I told Jay (the Assistant General Manager in charge of the hiring for the job I wanted) when I saw him last week." I couldn't breathe. She went on, "I told him that he knew you wouldn't be happy in that job and he agreed after I talked to him." I was stunned. I must have looked like someone hit me with a brick. Holding the phone to my ear, my eyes darted back and forth as I listened. I was desperately trying to find something to say. I couldn't. I couldn't interject, yell, scream, cry or laugh. Me, the one with the quick lines and the great comebacks had nothing. I wanted to ask a question. Why would she do that? Why would she stand in the way of a promotion I wanted? Why in the world would she say something like that after the roller coaster ride I had gone through of being interviewed, rejected, awaiting the boss who's job I wanted, then hearing that she'd rescinded and not getting a second shot. After all this, why? It was pretty simple really. Her conversation with my boss, Jay, was meant to be candid and meaningless but in the end, it was the damning conclusion that my might-have-been promotion came to.

So it ends? This remains to be seen. Now, I get to face the next new boss, candidate #3. The boss who's job I wanted, who wasn't even a consideration until one innocent conversation took me out of the race. I believe in nothing happens for a reason but still, it smarts.